Love with Nowhere to Go

You were the answer to our prayers–
the missing heartbeat in our lives.

We’re grateful you made us parents.
Your presence made us whole.

Now we’re left with all that love
that has nowhere to go.

We loved you dearly, little one.
We will always love you fiercely.

So, yes, grief will fade with time;
our hearts, now hollow, will fill,

but still, you’ll always live in us
because love with nowhere to go

can never fade; can only grow.
Can never fade; can only grow.

Notes from the interview that inspired this poem:

She told me that her and her husband had desired a child for a very long time. They had struggled with infertility, but had finally learned they were pregnant just before Christmas, and had seen the baby’s heartbeat. “I spent Christmas alone, because my husband was working, but I didn’t feel alone. Our hearts were so full, and I remember feeling so grateful for the gift of this child who we had wanted for so long,” she said. At her next ultrasound appointment, she learned they had lost the baby. “It was shocking. We really loved our baby, even though we never met,” she said. She told me that she knew her body did all that it could to keep the baby. As she reflected on her grief and what she might want to convey at the memorial, she said, “I want you to know you had two parents who loved you, and you had the most wonderful father. Thank you for making me a mom. We’ll wait to meet you next in heaven.”

Interviewee: Anonymous, Physician
Listener Poet: Jenny Hegland