COVID Year

* Such impossible intensity
…….* for such a long time
* Such isolation
* Such fear
…….* for my patients
…….* for my children
………………(and a little bit for
myself)
* Such sadness

There were moments when I said,
……..“I can’t do this.”

We showed up because we had to.
We ran toward fire, holding our breath.
……..I’m proud of that.

Seeing patients in person again,
…….I’m awestruck by our
…….* renewed connections.
…….* mutual appreciation.
One patient took my breath away
…..when she asked me,
……….“How are your kids? How are you?”

Are we rejoicing yet? No.
There’s so much grief,
……so much unprocessed trauma.
But there’s also cautious optimism.

In all those moments of despair,
my deep love for my kids
sustained and nourished me.

…..I’m hopeful again.

Notes from the interview that inspired this poem:

She spoke about how this past year had revealed the tension and crisis in her roles as a physician and a single parent. Doctoring is about human connection, and there had been so much loss, including in her ability to see patients in person. She also served as the director of an internal medicine residency program. Those residents provided critical care, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and she provided care for them. Her deep love for her children sustained and nourished her.

Interviewee: Anonymous, Physician
Listener Poet: Katherine Gekker